Albert Pujols Sucks Forum

Discussion forum for Albert Pujols's anti-fans (L.A. Angels, MLB). Does he suck? Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans. If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 16:52:43 GMT reply
I heard it might be. It may even be brought up by one of the major chains if Trout keeps trash talking!!
I heard Bartolomew Colon go on an epic rant about how he will 'outblast' A-Rod, which got -Rod's lover aggresive and he lashed out during a press conference! The crowd were going mad for the violence!
As an aside, Did Barolomew change his name? it Was Bartolomew Smith a few years ago, I am sure!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:41:20 GMT reply
Vet do you know if this years "Smelliest Fart" competition will be televised on the Spice Channel? If Trout beats Pujols pandemonium will break loose!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 21 Mar 2017 22:21:50 GMT reply
Albert has won the "Smelliest Fart" competition for the past 3 years that the Angels team holds during every spring training. They are holding their 2017 competition next week and Mike Trout has really been praciticing by gorging on Taco Bell, greasy pizzas, and super carbonated Mountain Dew and grape soda! I think that Trout may take Albert this year!!!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:00:30 GMT reply
I have a friend who was in a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant eating with his wife. Albert came in wearing shorts and a wife beater, then proceeded over to their table where he ripped a loud fart, then took a disgusting dump on the table! He then ate some of my friends food right off his plate then headed back out into the night. What an inconsiderate asshole! He totally ruined my friends night.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 21:42:54 GMT reply
I've heard that while Albert is violating some poor suckers toilet and home his queer lover the "Problem Child" guy lurks outside, normally in the bushes, jerking off. Many people have said that his stink lingers for weeks forcing them to relive the horrid event.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 17:48:35 GMT reply
I think he genuinely thinks people want to see his ass- art and it his valuable. This is certainly supported by his rabid queer fanbase who dote on his every move...I actually heard the opposite on the Trout fight. Trout was angry he did not follow through on his face and instead done it in the sink. Not that he was offended by his juicy fart
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 00:07:16 GMT reply
Pujols is a total nightmare on and off the field. From his absurd relationship with the Problem Child guy, to his breaking into random people's homes to take shits, to his dugout shenanigans and now shitting in the sink on a plane. When will President Trump take action and declare this asshole persona non grata and fire his smelly ass back to the Dominican Republic?
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 17 Mar 2017 14:41:51 GMT reply
For the sake of the Angels, we can only hope that Mike Trout and Albert Pujols have healed their rift from last season. During a flight from Orange County, CA to New York for a series with the Yankees last season, Trout was sitting in a seat near the bathroom when Albert suddenly badly had to go - it was Albert's own fault for gorging on 10 greasy Taco Bell tacos before that long flight. There was a line for the bathroom, so Albert was standing in the aisle near the bathroom when he couldn't wait any longer and suddenly ripped a loud and smelly fart which quickly stuck up the entire airplane cabin! Trout took particular offense, as Albert's ass was maybe two feet from Trout's face's during this epic fart. Trout yelled at Pujols that he a used-up dirtbag! When Albert finally got into the bathroom, he apparently shit in the sink instead of the toilet for some strange reason and as a result the bathroom reeked for the next 3 hours of the flight. Supposedly this rift was one reason why the Angels sucks so badly last year
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 17 Mar 2017 06:23:58 GMT reply
I saw that th Angels have banned that Problem Child guy from the dugout. Albert had told them he was part of his private medical staff but all they saw was the guy jerking Albert off! What's up with that?
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 14 Mar 2017 08:01:49 GMT reply
I recently stopped at a Cinnabon in LAX. The guy behind the counter had a name tag that said "Albert". I'm pretty sure it was Albert. I'm also pretty certain that bastard farted on my Cinnabon. It tasted like anus!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 22:25:55 GMT reply
deport this greaseball back to mexico, where he's from!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 11:31:48 GMT reply
Why is Albert always trying to share toilet seats with random men? What is wrong with that guy?
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 05:50:12 GMT reply
Jason is a menace! He just seems to travel the country forcing his deviant behavior on the unsuspecting public!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 12 Mar 2017 12:23:55 GMT reply
I was at the St. Louis Galleria Mall last month when I suddenly had to expel the contents of my bowels of the Taco Bell I had eaten for lunch that day. I went to a stall in the men's room at sat down to take a shit when all of a sudden someone started pounding on the door. I heard "Hey, I'm Albert Pujols, please let me in! I need to use the toilet!" He asked if he could share my toilet set. It was a weird request, but I agreed because I thought he would give me an autograph. So I said he could come in and he asked if I could step aside for a second so he could get rid of "doo doo water" from his butthole. So I stood up and then Albert spun me around and knelt down and belched into my asshole and then said, "Yeah, take that belch!!!" and then sniffed my anus. Then he turned around and walked out - I never saw him again. I don't even know why he was in St. Louis that day as he no longer even lives in the St. Louis area as far as I know
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 12 Mar 2017 08:53:28 GMT reply
Albert should be deported back to the Dominican Republic where shit like that is normal and tolerated.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 14:45:18 GMT reply
Stevie, you need to tell your parents about what happened! Albert Pujols should not be asking to see your privates or showing any little boys his hairless balls. He's a pervert!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 02:25:48 GMT reply
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 02:05:20 GMT reply
I saw on TMZ that Albert was at the Grove recently eating at the Cheescake Factory with that guy who played Junior in the Problem Child Movies. It was really weird that when their food came they went into the bathroom to eat it. I live in Australia and we don't do that here. Is that normal in the US? Why would someone want to eat their food while listening to people take smelly dumps?
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 00:07:20 GMT reply
Pujols is one weird dude. I bet that idiot did believe he was disguised because he wore a Cubs uniform.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 14:25:09 GMT reply
No idea, I heard from a reliable witness that he was driving up and down the road, asking if there were any public restrooms
It shows the kind of humour he has if he made a mess in tha restroom because of the sign. Or does he genuinely believe that that was what the customers wanted to see?
Hi cubs uniform appeared at least two sizes too tight as well, and looked off the rack - so it can't be his playing kit.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 13:40:43 GMT reply
Why was Albert Pujols wearing a Cubs uniform??? Did he really think that people wouldn't recognize him if he wore a Cubs uniform??
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 00:50:33 GMT reply
Pujols is a damn menace. I remember a story a few months back where Albert burst into some random guys home and went green doo doo all over the place!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 09 Mar 2017 18:07:38 GMT reply
Hi all, I work in a burger king at Chicago, and I am the janitor, I hate this job! There are so many bums making a mess in there. To stop this, I put up a sign:
'Please leave the toilet as you would expect to find it'
Thankfully, people were polite and the toilets became cleaner. One day I see Pujols rush in, wearing his cubs uniform (despite being off season, which was weird) and rush to the toilets. As a public figure, I wasn't worried as he should be a perfect model.
However, I then heard loud grunting, a fapping sound, and i could hear someone screaming out for 'god's forgiveness' as huge fart sounds rocked the restaurant!
Once he left, he high fived a fat dude sitting near the toilet and told some kid's proudly ' that some brown hostages have been dropped off into the pool'
When I went in, the whole place was brown, with only snatches of porcelain, a crude picture of a dong was smeared on the wall in faeces and numerous toilet tissues and jizz were plasteered over the sink - the toilet bowl itself was clean, apart from tongue marks
I am absolutely disgusted at this behaviour!!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 09 Mar 2017 01:45:55 GMT reply
I can't wait for the season to start. This season the Angels are selling super premium seats in the dugout next to Albert. One lucky fan will get to sit next Albert and listen to him fart and belch as well as discuss Albert's diarrhea and love for the TV show Saved by the Bell. There is no guarentee but one is also likely to have hot man action with Albert including him belching loudly into ones asshole.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 08 Mar 2017 17:33:32 GMT reply
I would love it if Albert belched onto my asshole after drinking a 2-liter of Pepsi! I'd like to spray diarrhea on his face at the same time!! Someone please put me in contact with his agent
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