Albert Pujols Sucks Forum

Discussion forum for Albert Pujols's anti-fans (L.A. Angels, MLB). Does he suck? Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans. If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 28 Jun 2017 23:58:32 GMT reply
Albert is really awful. His boyfriend, the guy from the Problem Child movies recently pissed on him from the stands. Even then Albert couldn't get a hit. Albert is happy to collect his money and watch gay porn in the dugout.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 27 Jun 2017 07:50:42 GMT reply
Mike Trout gave Albert a golden shower recently to motivate him
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 14 Jun 2017 06:52:41 GMT reply
Albert's batting average is down to .232! Man, he sucks now. He must be having some hot gay sex with manager Mike Scoccia in order to get so much playing time!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 09 Jun 2017 06:50:52 GMT reply
Did anyone see last nights game? Albert's boyfriend, the guy who played the Problem Child, was in the stands. I could see waves of stink coming off him!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 07 Jun 2017 20:42:49 GMT reply
IF UVE EVER STUCK UR FINGER UP A CAT'S BUTTHOLE THEN U KNOW KINDA KNO WHAT IT ITS LIKE HAE A FIST PUT IN UR BOTTOM. ITS THAT TIGHT. WHEN U PUT A FINGER IN THE CATS BUTT ITS LIKE STICKIN UR FINGER IN A SUPER TIGHT ELASTIC STRAW THATS FULLA JELLY BUT WARM JELLY NOT COLD. I LOVE HOW IT FEELS..ITS SO WEIRD CUZ UR THINKIN THIS WONT WORK..NO WAY IT WILL FIT WHEN U START AND ONLY GOT THE FINGERTIP IN....IT FEELS LIKE ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO FURTHER...BUT THEN SLOWLY IT STARTS DISAPPEARING FURTHER AND FURTHER INTO ITS HOT BUTT.
ITS LIKE HOW U IMAGINE A MOUSE FEELS GETTING SWALLOWED BY A SNAKE...ALL THOSE MUSCLES CLENCHING ROUND IT...HOW CAN IT FIT INSIDE THAT LITTLE SNAKE....HOW ON EARTH..BUT IT DOES...THOSE MUSCLES COIL AND RESTRICT AND THE MOUSE GOES DEEPER AND DEEPER...JUST LIKE A FINGER IT A CAT'S BUTTHOLE.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 06 Jun 2017 03:10:05 GMT reply
Rook, Vet and I are having a hot conversation here. We are trying to set up a hot, homoerotic, tryst with Albert. If you had offered to come along to shove a pineapple up Albert's ass after I loosened it up with some hot fisting that might have been useful. Vet could spray Albert with diarrhea, then we could have fed Albert the shit covered pineapple. But instead you blew it by making some weird comment.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 06 Jun 2017 00:03:03 GMT reply
That pineapple digger should have stayed in st Louis
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 05 Jun 2017 05:47:00 GMT reply
Yeah, after I suck him off, I will spray diarrhea in his face while you are fisting his butt hole!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 05 Jun 2017 02:57:27 GMT reply
Vet that is so hot! I'd like to join you! I want to ram my fist up Albert's asshole while you suck him off. What a celebration it will be!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 04 Jun 2017 05:57:52 GMT reply
Albert hit a grand slam on Saturday for career home run number 600!!! I want to pull the balls out of his pants and suck him off to celebrate!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 03 Jun 2017 17:55:54 GMT reply
Albert has a large queer fan base, just like many other players such as A-Rod
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 03 Jun 2017 17:43:08 GMT reply
You guys are gay.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Jun 2017 16:07:01 GMT reply
Sophomore, I heard the same. An Angel player told a friend that while Pujols was in the shower, Trout snuck up behind him and thrust his thumb into his butt while saying "you've got a hot man-pussy." Even though Albert enjoys having his man-pussy fingered, tongued, eaten, and f*cked, Trout's thumb caught him totally off guard. Because of that, Pujols turned around abruptly from the surprise and in doing so ripped the ligaments in Trout's thumb.
From what I've heard it was payback from the day before, when Big Albert snuck up on a showering Trout and jabbed his tongue in his butt. I guess the two have a long history of engaging in anal-play and scat sex. From what I've heard it started when Trout was 19 and brand new to the Angel's dugout. That's when Albert first got a taste of Mike Trout's hairless "boy-pussy." So, from then on, they both have declared ownership of each other's buttholes (or boy/man p*ssies as they call them). From what I've heard from people who allegedly know the guys in the locker room, Albert's backside has an unbelievable amount of hair on it, in addition to being soft and dumpy with a dark brown pleasure hole. So, because of the excess body hair on his backside, what he does is have it waxed in a way that makes it look like a super long, round vagina. That's the way he likes it to look. Trout's backside on the other hand I'm told is hairless and muscular, with a light pink hole. So, they really are totally different!
The one thing they have in common though is a love for putting Knotts Berry Farm Strawberry Preserves in their holes for the other guy to lick/eat out. I guess they do this often enough to make the other guys on the team complain that the locker room "smells like a diner."
Anyways, keep up the good work, SOphmore.
Like I said, this is all alleged
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Jun 2017 05:13:16 GMT reply
I have solid info Trout hurt his thumb while jamming into Albert's butthole in the locker room.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 30 May 2017 20:00:06 GMT reply
Mike Trout is going to be sidelined for 6-8 weeks with an injured thumb. Will Albert Pujols up his game to make up for the loss? Maybe Albert will focus more on his game since he won't be sucking Trout off in the showers after every game for awhile.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 30 May 2017 04:35:52 GMT reply
No problem. Yeah, Disneyland is crazy. Every mens room stall in the park gets used every single day as a pump 'n dump/blow 'n go. The place is freaking filthy. Straight people don't realize just how many of the public bathrooms in So Cal are used as casual hookup spots. There are thousands of them all over the Southland. Whether it's your local Barnes and Noble, Macy's department store, public park, 24 Hour Fitness, health spa, etc, etc...there's a good chance there's a restroom in it that's used as a cruising spot where strangers show up to meet other strangers to suck off. They call them "pump 'n dumps" in the game. Are you a student at a local university or junior college? Guess what, it's a certainty that one of the floors of your library or one of the quads on campus is a local cruise spot, and one of the restrooms on campus is used as their sweet spot. Ever wondered why one stall at your local shop, or school, or gym is always locked/occupied? Why sometimes a strange guy is looking at you out in public like you're on the menu? Because you're at a cruising spot and he's trying to size up whether or not you're a top or a bottom..whether he's gonna do some pumping or get some dumping. ,
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 29 May 2017 19:22:28 GMT reply
Thanks for letting us know of Albert's homosexuali hangouts! Funny you mentioned Disneyland as Dustin "Screech" Diamond reportedly used to hang out there to try to meet girls (and guys)
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 29 May 2017 17:57:53 GMT reply
I know he'd eat it if you meet up with him. You just have to know where Albert hangs out. I'll hook you up with places Albert frequents. The 10 places that you are mostly likely to find him are:
1. Slammer (Studio City). They have some of the most popular glory holes in Southern California (and a lot of hungry mouths :-))
2. 1350 Club (Anaheim) and Midtowne Spa (Wilmington. These are the bathhouses that he likes. While the rest of the visitors have to rent a locker, cabana and towel and then pay by the hour, crowd favorites like "The Machine" doesn't have to. His legendary stamina and sweet ass are payment enough.
3. San Onofre State Beach (Trail #6). Hot cruising action to be had here. After a couple hours of nude sunbathing you can slip into the bushes for some fecal play.
4. West Beach (Laguna Beach) One of So-Cal's most legendary cruising spots. Right n front of the Laguna Royale (beach front community complex) where many of Hollywood's elite homosexuals keep weekend homes. The orgies that go on in the condos there are infamous, and one Angel is known as a frequent flier.
5. La Dulce Vita Resort and Indulge Hotel (Palm Springs). Palm Springs is famous for its nudist gay hotels, where daytime poolside hookups give way to night time group play. This is a place where the body of a professional athlete is both appreciated and adored.
5 and 1/2.The I-10 rest areas (on drive to/from Palm Springs and LA/OC) Both the west and eastbound rest areas are some of the most active cruising spots in Southern California. The restrooms on both sides of the freeway have well used glory holes, and there's both private stalls and quiet areas behind the restrooms to engage in group play, and more hardcore action.
6. Studs Theater (West Los Angeles). At Studs, servicing includes a lot more than extra butter on the popcorn.
7. Brea Dam Park (Fullerton). This is a place where you need to "cruise" with caution, as Cops in Fullerton are tired of the Park being used as a "pump 'n dump". Even so, morning, noon, or night, there's hardcore local action to be found.
8. 24 Hour Fitness (locations throughout OC and LA). The locker rooms, saunas, and spas of your local 24 Hour are a great place to find The Machine. After a tough workout you may get lucky and get yourself a little "stress release."
9. Vaseline Alley (West Hollywood). If the walls could talk, woah, if the walls could talk. Every So Cal gay has a salad tossing story that involves Vaseline Alley, that's for sure!
10.) Disneyland (Anaheim). There's a reason El Machine chose the Angels, and Disneyland is a big part of that reason. Often described as 'Heaven for Homosexuals', Disneyland is without question the most popular gay destination in the world. The restrooms inside Disneyland are awash with semen and fecal material, as are the rooms at the Disneyland Hotel. Disneyland is a great place to not just bring a date, but it's one of the best places for hot cruising action and the intense hookups that come along with it. Disneyland is definitely the Magic Kingdom, if by magic kingdom you mean getting' your D sucked.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 29 May 2017 07:24:29 GMT reply
Albert needs to eat out my asshole
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 27 May 2017 23:29:38 GMT reply
I loved the 3rd out in the 9th inning Albert Pujols made in his game today. Once again, Mike Trout was intentionally walked because what team wouldn't rather face Albert and his 280 million dollar anchor on the Angels. Albert proceeded to get tagged out while still standing in the batters box after hitting a dribbler about 24 inches. I guess if your the 300 million dollar man you don't have to bother trying to run to first. Hustle? Yeah right! Guys getting paid hundreds of millions of dollars that engage in fecal play don't need to hustle!!!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 27 May 2017 23:25:38 GMT reply
It must really make Albert feel good about himself when opposing teams continuously walk Mike Trout intentionally in order to face him and his nearly 300 million dollar contract. Teams happily do it even if it puts runners in scoring position, just because they're so confident they will get Pujols out. Has this ever happened in the history of MLB: teams walking a guy intentionally because they would so much rather face a guy getting paid 280 million dollars by a team? The shame must really make him one angry dude. He probably takes it out on his boyfriend, Michael Oliver, the guy who played Junior in the award winning Problem Child films. He probably anger f*cks the insides out of him. That little redheaded bastard must get some serious dry, angry, prison love after a game of intentional Trouty walks.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 27 May 2017 07:44:01 GMT reply
It's odd how sometimes Albert treats his fans well and other days he randomly breaks into people's home and makes green doo doo in their toilets!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 26 May 2017 06:11:23 GMT reply
Albert sometimes loiters in the men's room at Angel Stadium! He was reportedly out for a few games recently with a sprained ankle. However, during one of those games, I caught him staring at me taking a piss at a urinal near the center of the 400 level. The strange thing is that he was wearing his Angels uniform! He clapped when I finished peeing and said, "well played, young man!" He then asked if he could shake any remaining piss off my cock. I was a little starstruck, so I agreed. Albert then led me into handicapped stall and started wiping my cock and then knelt down and started sucking me off. I'm as straight as an arrow, but I have to say that Albert sucked me off like a champ! The handicapped stall was large and there was some random fat guy in there taking a smelly dump while Albert went to town on my cock and he gave Albert a thumbs up and started doing a solo version of "The Wave" as I heard him expel the contents of his bowels into the toilet! I turned around and farted right in Albert's face and then climaxed onto his cute goatee! Albert then stood up and gave the guy on the toilet and me some signed memorabilia before walking out of the men's room. It was a surreal experience, although overall I would say that Albert is a great guy who really cares about his fans.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 25 May 2017 07:47:38 GMT reply
Albert was spotted farting on his hand and smelling it while lurking in the dugout. While in the batters box he shoved his hand down inside his pants between his ass crack then wiped the shit on the bat like pine tar! What a dirtbag!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 24 May 2017 04:10:00 GMT reply
Oh Albert, you came and you gave without taking!
But I sent you away, Oh Albert...
And you kissed me and stopped me from shaking....
And I need you today, Oh Albert.....
I never realized how happy you make me, Oh Albert....
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