Discussion forum for Albert Pujols's anti-fans
(L.A. Angels, MLB).
Does he suck?
Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans.
If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment.
Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.
Today I was in bed with Albert when he turned on his favorite tv show Saved By The Bell. It was the episode where Screech is Bayside High's unpaid bathroom atrendent. Mr. Belding comes in to use the urinal and catches Screech trying to watch him piss. Mr. Belding turns and urinates on Screech, then drop kicks him in the face. He then tears off Screech's Zubaz pants and begins ass raping him! Screech repeatedly yells "Zoinks" which further enraged Mr. B who begins yanking chunks of Screech's Jew fro out of his head while repeatedly smashing Screech's head into the stall door. This episode really turned on Albert who become highly aroused and demanded I play Mr. Belding while he played Screech. He put on a Jew fro wig and Zubaz pants and we really had some fun!
Today I was in bed with Albert and he was watching Saved by the Bell. It was episode where Screech complains that Mr. Belding's farts are disgusting. This enrages Mr. Belding who immedialty sits on Screech's face and begins ripping fart after fart until Screech's Jew fro is burnt offf and his face is brown. I noticed Albert God a massive boner while watching this highly erotic episode! He was then ready for another 4 hour session of hot man action!
I saw Albert with that Problem Child kid. They were grabbing each other's asses, and although I was at least 25 yards away I could smell the BO coming off the Problem Child. I doubt he's bathed in years and he looks homeless. He and Albert then headed towards a dumpster where I later heard loud moaning and a number of farts.
I saw Albert in the parking lot of the Super Bowl. He didn't have a ticket. He just said he heard they had nice port o potties and he was looking to hook up in one. It was pretty strange. He then bent forward and left a huge fart.
I am the CEO of Dr. Pepper and am interested in bottling a carbonated version of Albert Pujol's "Green Doo Doo Water." We will market it to the gay and Dominican communities. Albert needs to contact me so we can proceed as he's sitting on a goldmine!
Albert brings so much joy to baseball fans and the gay community in general. Should we as a society send Albert back to Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, or wherever he's from simply because he makes green do doo water which he sprays in the toilets of unsuspecting homeowners? Maybe we'd all be better off if we made Albert go through a car wash by himself in order to clean his filthy ass? Perhaps someone could also hold Albert down on the ground while someone else uses a fire hose to clean Albert's anus? It's something to think about...
I've written a letter to President Trump regarding this pressing issue. Hopefully he quickly takes action. I let him know that Albert is making green doo doo water in the homes of unsespecting, hard working, US citizens. I've asked that he take immediate action and either kick Albert out of the country, or sew Albert's nasty butthole shut.
Pistol Pete should have called the police. If Albert walked into my house uninvited and made smelly, green, chocolate milk doo-doo in my toilet I would call the cops. We can't let athletes get away with this kind of thing any more. They need to be held accountable. Albert Pujols has also been seen and caught on camera hundred of times throughout Orange County and St. Louis throwing fast food trash out of his car window. I was behind him on the freeway when he threw Arbys and Jack in the Box bags and wrappers out of his window. A big glop of mayonnaise covered tomato and lettuce landed on the windshield of the car driving next to me. Albert could have caused a major fender bender!!!! He has no respect for people's houses, bathrooms, or the environment. We've had enough, Pujols has to go!!!!!!
Maybe Albert had eaten dinner at a fondue restaurant? I ate at one with my wife last night and just went diarrhea as a result. My diarrhea isn't green like Albert's, although he may have had food poisoning or an intestinal virus
That was quite rude of Albert to walk in uninvited and then use and overflow Pete's toilet without even bothering to shut the door, wipe, flush, or wash his hands. Maybe Albert had bad food poisoning and was so embarrassed that he left so abruptly?
Last nigh Albert showed up to my friend Pete's Wednesday night poker game uninvited. Pete and the rest of the guys dont even know how Albert could have possibly known about the game or where he lived, because he has never met any of those guys. He just showed up, walked in the house without knocking and sat down at the table without even so much as an introduction. Right after sitting Albert started bragging about how much Mongolian BBQ he ate before coming over. Because he's such a famous baseball player, Pete just sat there speechless, in shock that the famous Albert Pujols was in his dining room, and made the mistake of not asking him to leave. About 5 minutes after walking into Pete's house uninvited, Albert got up and walked around the downstairs until he found Pete's bathroom. He went in and plopped down on the toilet, not closing the door behind him. Seconds later Pete says all he heard was Albert groaning and moaning. He was making gurgling sounds, and then he said ""OHHH, BUENO, BUENO....UHHHHH....ME GUSTA....OHHHHHH"....between the loudest, wettest sounding farts any of the guys had ever heard. Albert then screamed in a super high pitched voice "eeee wheeeee wheeeee...GREEN CHOCOLATE MILK IS COMING OUT OF MY ASS....eeeeeeekkkkkk tree teeehhhhheeeeee".....and the whole house became filled with the most vile, repugnant odor that the guys had ever experienced. One of them compared it to a swimming in a pool filled with week old dirty diapers. I guess Albert then got up, pulled his pants on and left Pete's house without saying a word. No apology, no explanation, nada. He didn't bother to wipe, he didn't flush, and he didn't wash his hands. He just skipped out of the house smiling and laughing the creepiest laugh the guys had ever heard. Pete says that they all just sat their for several moments in stunned silence, while choking on the toxic fumes, unsure of what had just happened. He also said that Albert left the toilet bowl overflowing, with green runny diarrhea all over the seat and floor, and that the house still doesn't smell right 24 hours later. What kind of big leaguer does something like that? He's no hall of fame in my book after doing something like that to my friend Pete.
Which baseball record is Albert most likely to break in the coming years? I think that the RBI record is the one at which he has the best chance. He doesn't have the power or speed to break the home run or double records, but he still drives in a lot of runs. I could also see him breaking the record for most anuses tongued during a double-header game!
Albert and I compared cocks at a truck stop a couple years ago. I walked up to a urinal and ran into Albert who was pissing at the urinal next to mine. He was wearing his Angels uniform including his cleats, which was strange as it was during November, long after the season had ended. I told him that I was a big fan and he thanked me and asked to compare cocks to see whose was bigger. I replied ok and then we compared cocks. As it turned out, we were about the same length. Albert then asked whose cock tasted better, so we 69'ed each other on the floor of the men's room in full view of several men pissing at the urinals. I also heard someone spraying diarrhea in a nearby stall! Albert said my cock won the "Pepsi Challenge." Then he asked me to play "hide the salami," so I started giving it to him hard, right in his ass!!! I came within minutes and Albert said he wanted to be my sex slave and that he's into humiliation. He then said I should rip ass in his face and use his mouth as a toilet! So I pissed in his mouth and then he said I needed to drop a "Number 2" in there as well! So I tried to take a dump in his mouth, but all I could do was force out a small turd, which he greedily gobbled down. Afterward, I used his beard stubble to wipe my anus clean!!! He's a great guy!
If not the Louvre then definitely Cooperstown. I wish Cooperstown would have an entire wing of ball players shit stained underwear! Albert's would definitely get top billing. Hopefully they start with Albert's amazing pair, then move to creating that entire wing. Raging queers would mob the place!