Albert Pujols Sucks Forum

Discussion forum for Albert Pujols's anti-fans (L.A. Angels, MLB). Does he suck? Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans. If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 19 Sep 2017 04:53:12 GMT reply
NOT AS BAD AS MIKE TROUT BUT HE STILL SUCLS. STICK TO TABLE TENNIS!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 11 Sep 2017 09:41:11 GMT reply
Albert has been hitting much better lately and his batting average is up to .248, which still sucks, although it is better than the .220s he was at recently. I would love to give him some rough anal sex to reward him, just the way he likes it! I'll pound his anus while he pleasures himself!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 26 Aug 2017 08:03:58 GMT reply
Albert Pujols would be better at baseball if he wasn't so fat. Does he know cardio exists? He is stealing enough money from the Angels and Mike Trout's prime that he can afford a personal chef to keep him on a decent diet
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 13 Aug 2017 07:59:16 GMT reply
Rook, Pujols is terrible now and it seems inevitable that he'll be released before playing out his full contract. I suspect he stopped taking steroids or HGH after joining the Angels, which would explain why his skills deteriorated so rapidly. It's hard to comprehend just how good he was until his last season in St. Louis, when his stats started dropping.
.
Even though he sucks now, I'd still like to watch him have full man-on-man sex with Mike Trout - I bet Albert would enjoy eating Mike's stinky diarrhea butthole!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Aug 2017 21:26:00 GMT reply
This is the first time I've been on the Albert Pujols page. Usually I just post on the pages of Yankees and Red Sox players, being an AL East guy and all. But, because Albert Pujols has turned into such a historically awful player, I was curious about what Angels fans are saying about him.
I knew it would be good. After all, the least valuable player in all of baseball statistically has one of the richest contracts in professional sports history. Let that sink in: the worst full time player in baseball has one of the 2 or 3 most valuable contracts that have ever been signed in Major League Baseball history! It is unbelievable. An old man (no one is sure of his real age) that can barely jog (let alone run) and has less value than your average kid in double A, actually has a big league team on the hook for nearly 300 million dollars.
Hell, If the Angels were to just send Albert home permanently and put an average minor leaguer in his spot they’d have a better record. So, imagine if they could put that 240 million dollars (as well as the additional 20-50 million in "personal service" money that's back-loaded on that contract) into players that could actually help them! They’d be one of the best teams in baseball. By just getting rid of Pujols and replacing him with your average run of the mill major leaguer, it would probably be enough to put the Angels into the American League Wild Card lead! Imagine that Angels fans. If all they did was send Albert Pujols home, while still paying him his 275 million dollars (to not show up), the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim would be a playoff team. With no other free agent signings. It would be classic addition by subtraction. How does that make the average Angel fan feel?
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Aug 2017 21:25:43 GMT reply
Even better, imagine if the Angels were able to put that 275 million dollars into signing players that could actually help them win (not players that actually make them worse). For a real mind f*ck imagine if they could also add to that the millions they've wasted (and are currently wasting) on guys like Josh Hamilton, Vernon Wells, Gary Matthews, CJ Wilson, etc. After all, the Angels (even after finally getting out from under several dead money contracts) still sink 15% of their payroll into guys that aren’t even on their team!!! Let alone the tens (if not hundreds) of millions they've set fire to over the past decade on guys like Gary Matthews, Vernon Wells, Scott Kazmir, etc…guys they’ve given millions and millions to just to make them disappear.
Think about the team they could have with an average coach, a decent GM, and all of the money and draft picks they burnt on just the big 3: Albert Pujols, Josh Hamilton, and CJ Wilson. It’s scary to consider the players they could have gotten instead! Heck, they’d be the American League’s Dodgers.
Just in the MLB draft alone, the picks that the Angels surrendered for these three free agent signings that accounted for a waste of nearly HALF A BILLION DOLLARS, have seen guys like Corey Seager, Michael Waccha, Marcus Strohman, Alex Wood, and Tim Anderson all drafted in the ACTUAL draft spots right around (and the actual picks) that the Angels were forced to surrender because of these half a billion dollar signings. Imagine the angels having Corey Seager, Alex Wood, and Tim Anderson, or having them as trade bait…the studs they could bring in! DAMN.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Aug 2017 21:24:51 GMT reply
Now, on top of those draft picks, imagine if that half a billion or so in free agency money was spent on bringing guys like, say, Yu Darvish over from Japan? Jose Abreu from down south? Darvish and Abreu, oh, that’d have cost about the same as the CJ wilson FA money!
They then could have went out and really started to spend in FA. What if instead of Hamilton, the Angels had signed Adrian Beltre? They could have done that. And, afterwards they’d still have had the damn Pujols money left!!!!
How about Max Scherzer? Or, how about Jon Lester? Or rebuilding the farm system and holding off on big FA signings for a few years. Then the Angels could have made plays for guys like Chris Sale, Justin Turner, Josh Donaldson, Jake Arrieta, Hosmer, Altuve, Chapman, Jansen, etc, etc….to be honest, it doesn’t even matter, as they’d have had the money for just about any signing or combination of signings. Pretty much anything would have been better than the deals they did make.
Long story short….the rest of MLB should send Arturo Moreno and the angels organization a big giant bouquet of roses and a case of champagne, because any normal owner, GM and coach would be overseeing the best team in baseball right now. Instead, the 3 blind mice are in charge of the biggest joke in professional sports.
NO WONDER YOU ANGEL FANS DO NOTHING BUT JOKE ABOUT POOP SEX, HOMOSEXUALITY, AND FAILED CHILD ACTORS ON THIS PAGE.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Aug 2017 07:07:03 GMT reply
During today's game Albert watched an entire gay porn in the dugout while eating a bag of Taco Bell. For the seventh inning stretch he stood up and ripped a disgusting fart.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 29 Jul 2017 17:34:22 GMT reply
This bum is only hitting.229! No way will he be any everyday player through the end of his contract in 2021! Now he's more well-known for filling toilets with his "green doodoo water" than he is for his hitting prowess
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 01 Jul 2017 22:02:06 GMT reply
to the rowdy guys below talking about the pineapple and balls, can i pop my haemorroides other both of you and AP s we celebrate??
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 01 Jul 2017 21:51:39 GMT reply
Great list of local hangouts.thanks!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 01 Jul 2017 07:54:44 GMT reply
I want Albert to gobble down my feces as if he were Pac-Man
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 28 Jun 2017 23:58:32 GMT reply
Albert is really awful. His boyfriend, the guy from the Problem Child movies recently pissed on him from the stands. Even then Albert couldn't get a hit. Albert is happy to collect his money and watch gay porn in the dugout.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 27 Jun 2017 07:50:42 GMT reply
Mike Trout gave Albert a golden shower recently to motivate him
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 14 Jun 2017 06:52:41 GMT reply
Albert's batting average is down to .232! Man, he sucks now. He must be having some hot gay sex with manager Mike Scoccia in order to get so much playing time!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 09 Jun 2017 06:50:52 GMT reply
Did anyone see last nights game? Albert's boyfriend, the guy who played the Problem Child, was in the stands. I could see waves of stink coming off him!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 07 Jun 2017 20:42:49 GMT reply
IF UVE EVER STUCK UR FINGER UP A CAT'S BUTTHOLE THEN U KNOW KINDA KNO WHAT IT ITS LIKE HAE A FIST PUT IN UR BOTTOM. ITS THAT TIGHT. WHEN U PUT A FINGER IN THE CATS BUTT ITS LIKE STICKIN UR FINGER IN A SUPER TIGHT ELASTIC STRAW THATS FULLA JELLY BUT WARM JELLY NOT COLD. I LOVE HOW IT FEELS..ITS SO WEIRD CUZ UR THINKIN THIS WONT WORK..NO WAY IT WILL FIT WHEN U START AND ONLY GOT THE FINGERTIP IN....IT FEELS LIKE ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO FURTHER...BUT THEN SLOWLY IT STARTS DISAPPEARING FURTHER AND FURTHER INTO ITS HOT BUTT.
ITS LIKE HOW U IMAGINE A MOUSE FEELS GETTING SWALLOWED BY A SNAKE...ALL THOSE MUSCLES CLENCHING ROUND IT...HOW CAN IT FIT INSIDE THAT LITTLE SNAKE....HOW ON EARTH..BUT IT DOES...THOSE MUSCLES COIL AND RESTRICT AND THE MOUSE GOES DEEPER AND DEEPER...JUST LIKE A FINGER IT A CAT'S BUTTHOLE.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 06 Jun 2017 03:10:05 GMT reply
Rook, Vet and I are having a hot conversation here. We are trying to set up a hot, homoerotic, tryst with Albert. If you had offered to come along to shove a pineapple up Albert's ass after I loosened it up with some hot fisting that might have been useful. Vet could spray Albert with diarrhea, then we could have fed Albert the shit covered pineapple. But instead you blew it by making some weird comment.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 06 Jun 2017 00:03:03 GMT reply
That pineapple digger should have stayed in st Louis
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 05 Jun 2017 05:47:00 GMT reply
Yeah, after I suck him off, I will spray diarrhea in his face while you are fisting his butt hole!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 05 Jun 2017 02:57:27 GMT reply
Vet that is so hot! I'd like to join you! I want to ram my fist up Albert's asshole while you suck him off. What a celebration it will be!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 04 Jun 2017 05:57:52 GMT reply
Albert hit a grand slam on Saturday for career home run number 600!!! I want to pull the balls out of his pants and suck him off to celebrate!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 03 Jun 2017 17:55:54 GMT reply
Albert has a large queer fan base, just like many other players such as A-Rod
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 03 Jun 2017 17:43:08 GMT reply
You guys are gay.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Jun 2017 16:07:01 GMT reply
Sophomore, I heard the same. An Angel player told a friend that while Pujols was in the shower, Trout snuck up behind him and thrust his thumb into his butt while saying "you've got a hot man-pussy." Even though Albert enjoys having his man-pussy fingered, tongued, eaten, and f*cked, Trout's thumb caught him totally off guard. Because of that, Pujols turned around abruptly from the surprise and in doing so ripped the ligaments in Trout's thumb.
From what I've heard it was payback from the day before, when Big Albert snuck up on a showering Trout and jabbed his tongue in his butt. I guess the two have a long history of engaging in anal-play and scat sex. From what I've heard it started when Trout was 19 and brand new to the Angel's dugout. That's when Albert first got a taste of Mike Trout's hairless "boy-pussy." So, from then on, they both have declared ownership of each other's buttholes (or boy/man p*ssies as they call them). From what I've heard from people who allegedly know the guys in the locker room, Albert's backside has an unbelievable amount of hair on it, in addition to being soft and dumpy with a dark brown pleasure hole. So, because of the excess body hair on his backside, what he does is have it waxed in a way that makes it look like a super long, round vagina. That's the way he likes it to look. Trout's backside on the other hand I'm told is hairless and muscular, with a light pink hole. So, they really are totally different!
The one thing they have in common though is a love for putting Knotts Berry Farm Strawberry Preserves in their holes for the other guy to lick/eat out. I guess they do this often enough to make the other guys on the team complain that the locker room "smells like a diner."
Anyways, keep up the good work, SOphmore.
Like I said, this is all alleged
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