Jason Heyward Sucks Forum

Discussion forum for Jason Heyward's anti-fans (Chi. Cubs, MLB). Does he suck? Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans. If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 24 Oct 2017 04:16:49 GMT reply
How dare you attack Jason Heyward’s queer fanbase! Everyone knows that Heyward single-handedly won the 2016 World Series for the Cubs when he gave them a motivational speech during a rain delay! What you might not know is that Heyward drank a 2-liter of grape soda during the rain delay and started to feel sick during his speech, causing him to double over in pain. As he bent down, his face was mere inches from Ben Zobrist’s ass. Heyward then unleashed an epic and insanely loud belch right next to Zobrist’s ass and then Heyward started to feel better. As you may recall, Zobrist hit a go-ahead double in the 10th inning to win the game for the Cubs! It seems pretty clear that Heyward ‘s anal belch motivated Zobrist to get that crucial double!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 23 Oct 2017 19:56:53 GMT reply
This is a baseball forum, not a forum for weirdos to talk about belching in other peoples asses
get a life dude - this is all fantasy
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 22 Oct 2017 03:27:28 GMT reply
Dusty Baker gets canned. Giving an IBB to Heyward sealed his fate. He probably should have been fired on the spot after that move
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 22 Oct 2017 02:46:33 GMT reply
I've never seen a mlb player look so awkward at the plate. The worst professional sports contract in history. Also, spit the bubble gum out. He's a pathetic loser. I may not watch the Cubs again until 2025.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 21 Oct 2017 01:26:30 GMT reply
What are the,chances Jason Hayward will opt out of his contract after the 2018 season? Oh, please there are many teams out there in need of his motivational speaking talents...
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 23:12:09 GMT reply
Finishes the season on the bench, in a loss, with no pinch hitting appearance. Could there be any greater humiliation for a ball player who is stealing $28,166,166.00 dollars from the Cubs this season? Or, to put it another way, could there be any greater embarrassment for a team who THOUGHT they were stealing this "future Hall of Famer" away from the Cardinals for the pittance of $184,000,000.00 million for 8 years? Heck, we Cardinal fans saw enough of his goofy batting stance and swing and broken bat dribblers in his first few games in 2015 to know he wasn't a major league hitter!! And we were hoping and praying the Cards would let some sucker team, preferably the uppity Cubs, sign him to a financially crippling long term contract. Well, God answered our prayers and we couldn't be happier for the clowns in Chicago. They just proved that last years WS victory WAS just a fluky stroke of luck brought about by a timely rain delay after blowing a huge lead. Enjoy the next 6 years of misery with this "stolen" Hall of Famer, Cubbies!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 12:59:06 GMT reply
2 for 17 with 2 singles and a .403 ops for the playoffs. Not bad. He should be the 3 hitter.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 06:19:53 GMT reply
Who is the homophobe that attained Jason’s homosexuality! He is a proud gay man who likes belching into the assholes of his teammates. Had Coach Maddon not hurt his feelings he would have motivated the team to the World Series with some potent farts and massive belches. I have solid info that Rookie 05:17:25 is correct that Theo and Maddon refuses Jason’s request to provide him an extra large cooler of Welch’s grape soda. Jason was prepared to do the grunt work of crawling around on the dugout floor like a dog, belching into each players anus in order to motivate them to greatness and a guaranteed World Series appearance. Instead his simple request was denied. We all know how it ended.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 05:59:55 GMT reply
Finishes first two seasons of his $180 million contract on the bench in the playoffs.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 05:17:25 GMT reply
The Cubs General Manager, Theo Epstein, really blew it this season! I heard that he refused to allow Jason Heyward to keep a Gatorade cooler full of grape soda in the Cubs dugout. The Cubs really needed some motivational belches from Heyward but he couldn’t produce them because he was unable to belch in his teammates’ anuses when the Cubs really needed a rally!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 03:50:21 GMT reply
The MLB single season record for extra base hits is 119. At his current pace Heyward should hit his 119th extra base hit in year 4 with the Cubs. 4 years!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 03:44:44 GMT reply
So this bum got credit last year for “motivational speaking” to the team. What happened this year? Did they tell him to piss off? Or did he sabotage his team and give a demotivational speak out of anger for his benching??
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 03:26:14 GMT reply
A $28,166,166.00 dollar slugger sitting on the bench, and a couple of scrubs making about $5 million between them are considered better pinch hitting choices. Yes, the joke DOES keep writing itself!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 03:00:34 GMT reply
Madman Maddon will never be forgiven by Cub fans for benching their record setting $184 million super stud...uh.....dud, just when he was starting to heat up at the plate with a couple of massive 250-300 feet pop flies and clutch broken bat dribblers. J-Hey was the only player capable of carrying this team into the World Series with his thunderous bat. Madman should be fired immediately after this humiliating defeat for dooming the team to defeat by this incomprehensible benching!!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 01:46:18 GMT reply
About time for a rain delay and a team speech from the greatest motivational speaker of all time, guess who!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 01:44:45 GMT reply
ter years of careful objective consideration, I have become aware that racism is a social construct, which has no reality. As in the movie "A Conversation About Race", most people don't really know what racism is. That's because it is truly a made-up concept without any objective reality.
We say "racism" when we see many white males as physicists or mathematicians, but hardly any blacks. However we do not say "racism" when we see that 80% of the players in the NBA are black, even though black males are only 6% of the population. We should just be honest and say some races are better at some things than others. This is reality backed up by countless studies, not "racism".
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 01:43:10 GMT reply
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 Oct 2017 01:39:50 GMT reply
There’s no such thing as race or racism. Learn some science moron.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 22:21:21 GMT reply
Hey guys, this racist, gay belching garbage ain't in the least bit funny and never has been. Leave this forum to us real comics who are posting hilarious comments, mostly clean, to poke fun at this pathetic record setting futility player. Go find a forum where people might think all of your racist, gay trash talk is funny. Because none of us do!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 08:27:38 GMT reply
Tonight Jason motivated the team once again to a victory. He doesn’t even need to play to be a key to a win. I heard he drank two two liters of grape soda, then choked down on a giant bucket of KFC, followed by a huge meal from Popeyes. This gave him some horrid gas, that he blasted in his teammates faces. He then had the team line up bare assed, and as each walked past him he belched into their anus. Once in the dugout Jason settled in and watched a few episodes of “Sanford and Son” as well as one episode of “The Jefferson’s” before loudly ripping ass so powerfully the entire bench shook! Tell me that isn’t a true hero! He won that game single handedly!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 07:09:00 GMT reply
Why would anybody in that dugout listen to a word this scrub has to say?
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 06:41:56 GMT reply
I read the game wrap on the MLB app. The article actually mentions that Heyward and other Cubs veterans had a pre-game talk with the team to motivate them! That article again mentions Heyward’s World Series speech where despite his crappy play on the field, he somehow managed to motivate the team to victory!
Nobody knows for sure what Heyward said before Wednesday’s game, but I’m guessing he drank a large 2-liter of grape Crush and ate a large bucket of KFC before ripping ass in his teammates’ faces and belching in their anuses in the showers to motivate them to victory!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 05:04:25 GMT reply
Why on earth would Maddon pinch hit J-Hey in eighth? with LaStella sitting on the bench, a great clutch hitter and pinch hitting specialist. How many bats did he break this year, he can not even hit the ball on the barrel of the bat but on the handle!He NEVER, EVER, gets a true clutch hit in important games.For the combined post season he is hitting a whopping .118! Kelly Crull weighs more than that!
Here is his post season so far -
.118 .286 .118 .403
Why don't Theo and Jed say something to Joe, are they cowards?
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 05:01:46 GMT reply
Am I the only one who noticed how masterfully J-Hey crushed that broken bat dribbler intentionally to the only infielder who was not playing his normal position? You see, in his brilliant mind, he knew all he could do was hit an infield dribbler. So, wanting to avoid the embarrassment of an IEDP, he dribbled the ball directly to the only guy on the field who might flub the double play. And sure enough it worked. This animal just continues to find ways to use his brilliant brain to set new records in futility!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 19 Oct 2017 04:35:31 GMT reply
Most people don’t know about this. I was at the game tonight and sat behind the Cubs dugout. If you’re in the know you can find a small hatch that will open, then a hole that leads into the Cubs dugout. This is a gloryhole. Tonight Jason was working the gloryhole. He gave me a fine blow-job, then let loose a montster belch on my cock that made me instantly blow my load! I bet Jason was motivating his team to victory in similar fashion. What a hero!
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