Discussion forum for Jason Heyward's anti-fans
Does he suck?
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I heard that there is a new ESPN 30 For 30 movie about Jason Heyward. It is entitled "Saved By the Belch" and focuses on the motivational belches and farts he produced to rally the Chicago Cubs to victory during the 9th inning rain delay at the 2016 World Series!
I would love it if Jason were to drink 3 2-liters of his super-carbonated grape soda and then tongue my anus. The mere thought of him belching in my ass crack while licking my dirty butthole is a huge turn-on! I bet that the sensation of feeling his warm belch on my asshole would make me cum instantly! I just hope he doesn't feel sick from all of the grape soda and accidentally puke in my ass crack!
I heard that in his first at bats of spring training Jason stood at the plate, his bat on his shoulder, and loudly belched each time the ball crossed the plate. He then ripped a fart in the catchers face. I'm not sure how this will benefit his team if he does this in game at bats?
Burger King is reportedly going to acquire Popeye's Louisiana Chicken. This is a tremendous opportunity for Jason! He should be able to expand the market penetration of his grape soda brand. Right now, it is most popular with the black community that frequents Popeye's. If Burger King decides to add Jason's grape soda to their soda machines, Jason's net worth may explode higher!
I think it is great that the Chicago Cubs is the first majority-gay Major League Baseball team. I bet they have hot orgies in the locker room after every game. Jason Heyward undoubtedly gets a sugar high from drinking his grape soda and is whipped into a homosexual frenzy!!
Today at Spring training Jason danced the Macarena nude while pouring grape soda all over himself and having the rookies drink it from his ass crack. He is really going all out to make sure the rookies feel at home!
I heard that Jason welcomed the rookies to Soring training by entertaining them in a hot black thong. He then ripped numerous farts while eating a bucket of Popeye's chicken and some of their rice and beans. He then downed a two liter of his grape soda and let out a belch so powerful it couldn't help but motivate those rookies! He finished this off by hitting the showers with them and grinding his cock against them. What a teammate!
Damn! That is so erotic! It's amazing the level of deviancy Popeye's tolerates in their restaurants! I'll enjoy when one of my lovers belches into my ass. It tickles and feels so damn good. I normally repay this treat with a nice diarrhea blast!
I was at a Popeye's chicken last Friday and saw Jason squatting naked over a gay black guy. Someone poured Jason's grape soda onto Jason's ass crack and then it dripped down into the gay guy's mouth! Jason then farted in the guy's face while the guy belched at the same exact moment! It was amazing!!!
Jason's farts are known to clear a room, but his most potent weapon is when he rips a KFC fueled fart closely followed by a ridiculously loud grape soda belch. This has been known to render people unconscious.
Ugh. Today my asshole stopped functioning and I can't even rip farts. I'm still having my wife fill my saline bag with Jason's amazing grape soda which I believe is keeping me alive. Today my hospital room phone rang and when I answer it I heard a ridiculously loud belch. I believe this was Jason motivating me to get better and to keep drinking his soda!! My crappy doctors told me continuing to ingest Jason's soda is causing further damage and I will soon need a colostomy bag. I told them to eat shit as I love that soda way to much to believe their lies!
Hey guys. I'm now in the hospital as my liver and kidneys have failed. The doctors say I need to stop drinking Jason's delicious soda, but I told them to eat shit as it's awesome and isn't the cause of my problems. I even had my wife fill my saline bag with soda instead of that stupid solution they were giving me. Now I lay here watching Jason's delicious soda drip into my vein. Unfortunately intravenous use does not give me the powerful burps that drinking it by mouth did. It also burns as it enters my bloodstream, but I know that's just it's total awesomeness entering my body!! Once I'm outta here I'm buying a truck load!
I heard Jason planned on having a Super Bowl commercial for his soda. For some reason it was turned away when the censors watched it and saw it was Jason ripping farts in people's faces and belching loudly in and old woman's face giving her a heart attack. The ending was Jason engaging in hard core anal sex with some guy with a massive Jew fro. I think the censors are racists.
Has anyone else entered the contest on the back of Jason's delicious grape soda? I have entered hundreds of times in the hopes I will win and Jason will call me and "loudly belch and/or fart into the phone to motivate the winner". If I win I hope Jason has a belch and a fart combo! I'm sure that would motivate me to achieve amazing things!
Wow Rook, that really sounds like top notch car meet! I've only been drinking Jason's grape soda for a short while now and although I've encountered numerous unreleased serious Heath issues I also have received the gift of monster belches. Today my dog was being annoying and I belched on him. He helped and ran away. I haven't seen him since. Awesome!
Hey Vets, I was at a classic car convention this morning, and d uring a particularly heated meeting about the benefits of mid 60's Mini Coopers, we open a bottle of Grape Soda and me and a few Japanese, African and Dutch enthusiasts started hugging the grape soda. Within second we were farting and slamming each other's ass in a moaning frenzy. After, we also cleared up one of the big debates about the trueness of the cooper engines, by sticking our rectum over the exhaust pipe and farting load after loads of gas into the pipe. This both cleaned the engne and served as a sort of hybrid fuel. I wonder if it has other uses than the ones all you esteemed veterans have espoused below?
Vet, it is strange that this happened to you but not to Jason Heyward. Is he immune to the side effects of his super-carbonated beverage? Or is he so used to years or drinking grape soda that he is immune to the nasty side-effects?
Another update. Today my toe fell off and I lost 3 more teeth. In good news my belches are louder then ever! My wife annoyed me yelling at me to stop drinking so much of Jason's delicious grape soda. I loudly belched in her face and it blew out her left eardrum! I saw so happy I crapped my pants!