Phil Kessel's Fan Forum

Discussion forum for Phil Kessel's fans (Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL). Please post trade rumors, injury reports and amateur scout suggestions. Please do not post inappropriate comments, this is a friendly forum for fans. If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 03 Dec 2016 03:37:01 GMT reply
OK bois muh foot long shlong and I are leaving. Packing our shit up (ooooops that sounded gay). Hasta huevos Rancheros
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 05:58:44 GMT reply
Kessel and I had a battle of shlongs. When I ripped muh foot long shlong nigguh
He cried like a bitch but he still had a 6" but nuthin like muh foot long shlong nigguh
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:21:57 GMT reply
Hi evetyone, my foot long shlong a and we're in the psych ward for 6 months. IM back and um stroking muh foot long shlong when I think of Phil oooooh uuuuuuh phenomenon like the master P song uuuuuuh ooooooh Phil the phenomenon
stroke muh Foot lung shlong
Wing woo egg room sauce on muh foot long shlong.
Phil steak house n fries with squirts of muh foot long sausage.oooooh yeeeeehaaaaa
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 30 Nov 2016 23:40:43 GMT reply
Points aren't everything. The ONLY thing he can do is score, so if he doesn't do that every game, he's useless. U-turns on forchecks instead of stop start, won't take or give a hit, misses passes and misses the net more than any other "goal scorer". No business on the power play, dusts off the puck and has a sip of coffee before he shoots, no quickness
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 30 Nov 2016 22:36:14 GMT reply
If you could be any animal what would it be and why❔
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 27 Nov 2016 03:18:42 GMT reply
He is a solid player.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 27 Nov 2016 00:09:05 GMT reply
Leads the Penguins with 10 Primary assists
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 26 Nov 2016 20:25:56 GMT reply
If Kessel had a normal stick (i.e. with a shaft with normal stiffness and a big boy sized blade), he could score in a variety of ways, and have 25-30 points by now. Scoring ONLY on his one leg flamingo wrist shots (with occasional gargabe goals around the net) is why he will NEVER, EVER get 40 or more goals in a season. That's why he ranks 60th in the league in goals, with just 6 at the quarter pole, on pace for 25-30. A high number of rookies will outscore him due to his sever limitation. It's too bad. Cupcake assists and secondary assists mean nothing. Real players drive the net, and go to the dirty areas of the ice and are willing to risk taking a hit to score. Kessel? He's afraid of his own shadow, and content to be an underachiever.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 26 Nov 2016 05:26:53 GMT reply
His 21 points in 21 games begin to differ
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2016 01:08:50 GMT reply
Kessel is a pudgy, balding, 50-something truck driver looking one dimensional player with a useless whippy circus stick. He can't roof it from in close, can't one-time it, can't take slap shots or backhands. He can't win puck battles either. Dude has zero hockey IQ, which is why he was an epic fail when paired with Crosby and Malkin. "Me skate straight line toward net and shoot puck along the ice through heavy traffic and hope for the best". He's got all the wit and personality of a soap dish. But, hey, at least he's an AWESOME public speaker, raaaaaaight?! ROTFLMAO!!!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 12 Nov 2016 04:32:06 GMT reply
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 12 Nov 2016 04:31:49 GMT reply
Where did the bitch you kessel haters go?
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 00:19:47 GMT reply
Phil for President!!!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 06 Nov 2016 16:00:05 GMT reply
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Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 20 Oct 2016 11:41:46 GMT reply
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Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 17 Oct 2016 14:04:02 GMT reply

Reply-to:Kessel clocks in at #48 on top 100 Leafs of all time according to fans and historians

Did you notice that they didn't show a single highlight goal by Kessel during the entire tribute?

It really is too bad he shat the bed and poisoned his well during his final 2 years in TO.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 16 Oct 2016 16:48:23 GMT reply
Kessel is sexy
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 17:56:57 GMT reply
Kessel clocks in at #48 on top 100 Leafs of all time according to fans and historians
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 11 Oct 2016 02:05:20 GMT reply

Reply-to:no he didnt you idiot. he called phil a stanley cup champion. which he is. youre not though. sad for you....

Get a clue. President Obama WAS, in fact, making light of Kessel's change of fortune, by stating - tongue-in-cheek, that the cause for the gathering/celebration was that Phil Kessel won the cup.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 09 Oct 2016 15:04:47 GMT reply
Kessel lost weight hes da best
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 07 Oct 2016 20:35:23 GMT reply
He has taken 600 faceoff so in his career
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 06 Oct 2016 18:46:19 GMT reply
no he didn't you idiot. he called phil a stanley cup champion. which he is. you're not though. sad for you....
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 06 Oct 2016 18:32:41 GMT reply
Even OooH-BAA_MAH made funny of him.  hee hee hee
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 06 Oct 2016 17:09:16 GMT reply
Phil Kessel's long, long, LONG list of "can'ts":
He can't take one-timers.
He can't take slap shots.
He can't take a shot on his backhand.
He can't roof it from in close - his shots are ALWAYS along the ice from just outside the crease or on breakaways.
He can't deke when in alone on a goalie.
He can't take draws - even though most wingers can, for when their centers get thrown out of the circle).
He can't kill penalties.
He can't scrum, and win puck battles.
He can't help but have more giveaways than takeaways.
He can't throw a hit - he registered just 8 - EIGHT!!! all of last regular season.
He can't do intermission interviews - EVER!
He can't directly answer questions from sports journalists - his responses are ALWAYS unrelated to the question.
He can't speak in public - he wasn't able to muster even a simple "thank-you" to hundreds of thousands of adoring Pens fans at the conclusion of their Stanley Cup parade.
He can't play for his country anymore.
He can't play with Pittsburgh's top 6 forwards - he doesn't have the hockey IQ that Malkin and Crosby have. That's why he had to settle for 3rd line. Kessel was a failed experiment for the first half of last season, until he was put on a line with grinders Hagelin and Bonino.
He can't slow it down on the PP, rag the puck and then make his best play - instead he timidly treats the puck like a hot potato, because he lacks confidence in his own abilities.
To summarize, Phil Kessel is definitely THE most incomplete player in the NHL, by a country mile. ALL he has is his flamingo wrist shot, from the wing, through heavy traffic, with his useless, single-purpose (flamingo wrist shots only - tiny blade, 70 flex, useless shafted) stick.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Oct 2016 03:07:54 GMT reply
The person who was really disrespected on Team USA was Patrick Kane not Kessel.
If you want a gritty team, fine, but at least give him one forward or offensive defenseman to help him out. Kessel is a problem in short tournaments because he's not flexible and doesn't play defense or win draws.
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