Discussion forum for Phil Kessel's anti-fans
(Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL).
Does he suck?
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Hi evetyone, my foot long shlong a and we're in the psych ward for 6 months. IM back and um stroking muh foot long shlong when I think of Phil oooooh uuuuuuh phenomenon like the master P song uuuuuuh ooooooh Phil the phenomenon stroke muh Foot lung shlong Wing woo egg room sauce on muh foot long shlong. Phil steak house n fries with squirts of muh foot long sausage.oooooh yeeeeehaaaaa
Points aren't everything. The ONLY thing he can do is score, so if he doesn't do that every game, he's useless. U-turns on forchecks instead of stop start, won't take or give a hit, misses passes and misses the net more than any other "goal scorer". No business on the power play, dusts off the puck and has a sip of coffee before he shoots, no quickness
If Kessel had a normal stick (i.e. with a shaft with normal stiffness and a big boy sized blade), he could score in a variety of ways, and have 25-30 points by now. Scoring ONLY on his one leg flamingo wrist shots (with occasional gargabe goals around the net) is why he will NEVER, EVER get 40 or more goals in a season. That's why he ranks 60th in the league in goals, with just 6 at the quarter pole, on pace for 25-30. A high number of rookies will outscore him due to his sever limitation. It's too bad. Cupcake assists and secondary assists mean nothing. Real players drive the net, and go to the dirty areas of the ice and are willing to risk taking a hit to score. Kessel? He's afraid of his own shadow, and content to be an underachiever.
Kessel is a pudgy, balding, 50-something truck driver looking one dimensional player with a useless whippy circus stick. He can't roof it from in close, can't one-time it, can't take slap shots or backhands. He can't win puck battles either. Dude has zero hockey IQ, which is why he was an epic fail when paired with Crosby and Malkin. "Me skate straight line toward net and shoot puck along the ice through heavy traffic and hope for the best". He's got all the wit and personality of a soap dish. But, hey, at least he's an AWESOME public speaker, raaaaaaight?! ROTFLMAO!!!
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